Spiritual awakening is often marketed as a peaceful, Instagrammable experience—cue the soft-lit meditation sessions, the gentle whispers of “just be in the now,” and a suspiciously high number of people claiming to have transcended their ego (but somehow still getting mad at traffic).
But the reality? It’s messy. It’s raw. It’s the equivalent of peeling an onion, except the onion is your entire identity, and every layer makes you cry.
Most people remain in as I call it Stage Zero: Illusion, where 99.99% of humanity is busy scrolling, consuming, and running on autopilot. Then, one day, something cracks—maybe it’s an existential crisis, an encounter with Eckhart Tolle, or just a particularly bad Wi-Fi connection that forces you to sit with your thoughts for five minutes.
Congratulations, you’ve stepped into Stage 1: Ego Separation—where the real fun (read: inner turmoil) begins.
The Five Stages of Spiritual Growth
There are five major stages of awakening, each one bringing a deeper unraveling of the illusion:
Ego Separation (Stream Entry) – The moment you start realizing your thoughts aren’t you. Big moment. Very uncomfortable.
God Consciousness – That stage where everything feels connected and you feel like God.
Nothingness – When you realize everything, including yourself, is an illusion.
Enlightenment – The grand finale. The credits roll. You merge with existence. (Or, more likely, you just stop being so dramatic about life.)
Each of these stages has three levels:
Level 1: Intellectual Understanding – The "Oh wow, this makes sense!" phase.You understand everything in theory and have a mind map to follow the route.
Level 2: Practicing & Experimenting – The "Oh wow, this is harder than I thought" phase (I’m currently here in Stage 1).
Level 3: Realization – The "Oh wow, I am this" phase where the stage you transend becomes a permanent part of yourself.
It is well explained by Frank Yang here.
My First Existential Crisis (Stage 1, Level 1)
In 2013, I had my first taste of awakening—not from a monastery, but from sheer curiosity. I wondered, What would happen if I just stopped thinking?
I blame Eckhart Tolle. His words planted a seed in my mind, and before I knew it, I was experimenting with silencing my thoughts. For a brief moment, something happened. The mental noise paused. The world felt different.
But here’s the fun: intellectual understanding or even a small taste of it is just the trailer. The real movie begins in Level 2, and let me tell you—it’s not a lighthearted rom-com. It’s a psychological thriller featuring all your repressed emotions in starring never rending roles.
The Tough Reality of Level 2: Inner Work Beyond Meditation
A common misconception is that spiritual growth means sitting cross-legged for hours while looking wise. Nope. True awakening is what happens outside meditation.
The moment you try to silence your mind, your unconscious backlog of shame, fear, and guilt bursts through like a chaotic family reunion. Suddenly, you're revisiting childhood traumas, questioning your life choices, and realizing you might have some unresolved issues with authority figures.
True spiritual work at this stage means:
✔️ Noticing when you’re reacting with anger or victimhood (instead of rationalizing it).
✔️ Facing fears you really don’t want to face.
✔️ Developing patience, courage, and self-compassion (easier said than done).
✔️ Realizing that ethics aren’t just a nice concept—they’re the foundation of true growth.
Where People Go Wrong in Spiritual Practice
There are a few ways people mess this up, and trust me, I’ve seen plenty:
The “I’m Enlightened but Also Manipulative” Type – Meditates for three hours a day, but low-key guilt-trips people into admiring their “spiritual wisdom.”
The “Altered States Are the Goal” Type – Thinks reaching blissful meditation highs is enlightenment, while simultaneously avoiding real-life responsibilities.
The “Technique Over Transformation” Type – Spends hours perfecting meditation but flips out over minor inconveniences (like a delayed coffee order).
If your spiritual practice doesn’t change how you behave in real life, it’s just an aesthetic.
The Key Lesson of Stage 1: Awakening Happens in Daily Life
Here’s the harsh truth: if you meditate for an hour and then lose your mind because someone took your parking spot, you haven’t grown—you’ve just taken a break from your ego.
The real test of awakening isn’t in a silent retreat. It’s in:
How you react when someone criticizes you.
How much control your emotions have over you.
Whether you can stay conscious in moments that trigger your deepest wounds.
Final Thoughts (Or, Why This Journey is Both Brutal and Beautiful)
Spiritual awakening is not a linear, feel-good journey—it’s a demolition process. It requires the courage to break down old structures, question everything you once believed, and sit in uncomfortable truths without running away.
But here’s the paradox: the more you dissolve the illusion, the lighter life becomes. There’s humor in the madness. There’s peace in the uncertainty.
So if you find yourself struggling, questioning, or feeling like you’re doing it all wrong—good. You’re on the right path.
Keep going.
And if all else fails, just remember: even the great mystics had bad days.
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